Boo. However...I don't feel too guilty because I didn't binge. I think why it was up so high is because we went out for Matt's birthday and then to the Chinese buffet last night - the latter I hear is chock full o' sodium so I am certain a big part of that is water retention.
I won't be able to weigh-in while I'm gone next week. I do not plan on going hog wild though. I feel sick and gross anymore when I'm stuffed now so I have no desire to do that and drink while we're on vacation.
Work is completely insane right now. I'm not sure if I mentioned but about half of my clients in my caseload at work are leaving. I am trying my best to market to keep them with us as well as try to keep up on my own work. It's not working too well. I've been skipping breakfast most week days and there have been several other days where I haven't at lunch until 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. (today it was at 4:00; joy of joys).
Because of all this, I am (of course) worried about my job security. My co-workers continue to assure me that I am safe but I continue to remind them that you can't ever think that you're safe in this industry.
Not to mention the fact that I had to take a week off without pay. Only getting half of a paycheck sucks. Good news is that we'll be on vacation for a week so that's a week of no gas, no groceries, and minimal daycare.
We are leaving for Punta Cana on Saturday and won't be back until early Friday morning next week. I am extremely excited. Plus...I'm on the verge of a nervous break down (that's not me being melodramatic; I swear) and so I could definitely use the R&R. Collin will be away from both of us for the first time ever. Matt is quite nervous. I am too, but I think he'll have fun without us. Being hundreds of miles away from your baby does tend to be nerve wracking so I hope everything goes okay.
Speaking of my baby, he started "school" today. He did sooooo well! As soon as we walked in the door, he ditched me for the toys and other kids. I had to force him to give me a hug and kiss because he was so engrossed in playing. When Matt picked him up he was in an awesome mood and was in the same great mood when I came home. I think he will continue to do great. This daycare is the same one that Adrian went to and they teach the kids great habits / moral values.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Down another (almost) 3 lbs...
Despite the fact that I went over my points a little and I had a few drinks with Matt on Friday night. I am trying not to beat myself up about going over my points because what is more important is that I haven't binged in over two weeks now. Yay! Oh, and my weigh-in today was 227.0 (even).
I do think I'm going to stick with WW long-term. I'm so much happier on it. Since you get flex points, you can actually "budget" for those days that you know will be high in points or if you want an extra treat. I am finally at a good point mentally too. Sure, I'm stressed out but I don't think that there's anything I can't handle right now.
I don't know if I mentioned yet, but I don't have sleep apnea. The sleep doctor said that I do snore and that's why I wake myself up sometimes but no apnea right now. :) I have another appointment with the Hematologist on Thursday so please keep your fingers crossed that my white blood cell count has went down. I am not sure what they'll do if it is still up...
Adrian started back to school today. He is a 5th grader this year. I can't believe it?! Collin starts "school" (aka daycare) next week and we couldn't be more excited. We are sending him to Adrian's old daycare and I think it will be good for him to interact with other children his age and for there to be more structure to his day than what there is now. Plus, let's face it...it'll force Mommy (me) to get my butt in gear. I will have start getting to bed at a decent time to get up a little earlier and Collin will actually go to bed earlier, which will enable me to have more time to study and more time to bond with Matt. :)
Everything seems to be all rainbows, puppies, and hearts today. I know...shoot me.
I do think I'm going to stick with WW long-term. I'm so much happier on it. Since you get flex points, you can actually "budget" for those days that you know will be high in points or if you want an extra treat. I am finally at a good point mentally too. Sure, I'm stressed out but I don't think that there's anything I can't handle right now.
I don't know if I mentioned yet, but I don't have sleep apnea. The sleep doctor said that I do snore and that's why I wake myself up sometimes but no apnea right now. :) I have another appointment with the Hematologist on Thursday so please keep your fingers crossed that my white blood cell count has went down. I am not sure what they'll do if it is still up...
Adrian started back to school today. He is a 5th grader this year. I can't believe it?! Collin starts "school" (aka daycare) next week and we couldn't be more excited. We are sending him to Adrian's old daycare and I think it will be good for him to interact with other children his age and for there to be more structure to his day than what there is now. Plus, let's face it...it'll force Mommy (me) to get my butt in gear. I will have start getting to bed at a decent time to get up a little earlier and Collin will actually go to bed earlier, which will enable me to have more time to study and more time to bond with Matt. :)
Everything seems to be all rainbows, puppies, and hearts today. I know...shoot me.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Just for Lisa...
I just realized that I rarely ever allow my picture to be taken without makeup. I had to go back to January 2007. Hope I was able to make you feel a little better... :)
As a side note, going through my pictures was a bit depressing. I even asked Matt how he even let himself be seen out in public with me last year (at my heaviest - see second picture)
On a positive note, the 3rd picture is close to my lowest weight this year; about 30 lbs. from this time last year.
Slow and steady wins the race, huh?
As a side note, going through my pictures was a bit depressing. I even asked Matt how he even let himself be seen out in public with me last year (at my heaviest - see second picture)
On a positive note, the 3rd picture is close to my lowest weight this year; about 30 lbs. from this time last year.
Slow and steady wins the race, huh?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Weekly weigh-in
Woot, woot! I lost 5.9 lbs. on my first week of Weight Watchers. I just realized last night that I forgot to note what I weighed in at. I started at 235.6 and I am 229.7 as of today. <--- ETA: Typo - it incorrectly read 239.7 when it should have said 229.7. Duh!
You have NO idea how excited I am! I used all of my flex points last week but I don't feel guilty about using them at all! I splurged on Wednesday when I got a chicken quesadilla, taco, and two cinnamon twists for dinner but I used half my flex points for that. And then this weekend, I got that McD's vanilla ice cream cone that I was craving all week. I also ended up eating some of Collin's hot fudge from his sundae as well as some sour gummy worms but I tracked everything.
It is a wonderful thing to feel no guilt in splurging within moderation! :)
I also picked up some Fiber One pancake mix and sugar-free low-calorie syrup and can't wait to try them out this weekend! Yummy, yummy, yummy!
You have NO idea how excited I am! I used all of my flex points last week but I don't feel guilty about using them at all! I splurged on Wednesday when I got a chicken quesadilla, taco, and two cinnamon twists for dinner but I used half my flex points for that. And then this weekend, I got that McD's vanilla ice cream cone that I was craving all week. I also ended up eating some of Collin's hot fudge from his sundae as well as some sour gummy worms but I tracked everything.
It is a wonderful thing to feel no guilt in splurging within moderation! :)
I also picked up some Fiber One pancake mix and sugar-free low-calorie syrup and can't wait to try them out this weekend! Yummy, yummy, yummy!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Quick update
A new resolution of mine is to keep my blog somewhat updated...
I had my sleep study on Tuesday. I was less than pleased since I didn't get to sleep until 12:30 a.m.!!! I got up at 6:30 a.m. and the sleep tech couldn't tell me that I have sleep apnea but said that I'd likely see them back in a few weeks to do another sleep study with the c-pap (breathing) machine. It sucks because I don't really want to have to use a breathing machine but at this point in time, I've been exhausted most every day since I was 16 years old and this is getting old. Plus, apparently there are a lot of health problems associated with sleep apnea like diabetes and heart disease.
I saw the hematologist on Wednesday. I had to get more blood drawn. He believes that my high white blood cell count is due to an underlying infection (don't know where), an inflammatory disease process (such as rheumatoid arthritis), or worst case scenario (and very doubtful since I'm young - LOL), is a bone marrow disease where the body produces too much bone marrow. If the count continues to be high and they can't find a reason for it, I may have to undergo a bone marrow biopsy. Needless to say, I hope they find out what the deal is through my blood work.
Child supported called on Wednesday. For those of you who don't know, ex-sperm donor is behind about $27,000 in child support and they are finally prosecuting him for a felony level non-support charge. Even though Matt adopted Adrian, we did not waive the back child support since I'm a firm believer that child support is for the child and should be used for them. We've actually saved most of what we did get (about $1200) and put it in a savings account for Adrian to use for college, a car, or whatever he needs when he gets older since we don't really need it. It will be interesting to see how this turns out.
Lastly, I did go over my points on Wednesday (by 18.5 - yikes! However, no binging - yay me!) but was under by about 7.5 yesterday. I actually still have 16.5 flex points left until Sunday night so guess what I'm going to splurge on this weekend? A vanilla ice cream cone from McDonald's since they are only 3 points. Can't wait! :)
I had my sleep study on Tuesday. I was less than pleased since I didn't get to sleep until 12:30 a.m.!!! I got up at 6:30 a.m. and the sleep tech couldn't tell me that I have sleep apnea but said that I'd likely see them back in a few weeks to do another sleep study with the c-pap (breathing) machine. It sucks because I don't really want to have to use a breathing machine but at this point in time, I've been exhausted most every day since I was 16 years old and this is getting old. Plus, apparently there are a lot of health problems associated with sleep apnea like diabetes and heart disease.
I saw the hematologist on Wednesday. I had to get more blood drawn. He believes that my high white blood cell count is due to an underlying infection (don't know where), an inflammatory disease process (such as rheumatoid arthritis), or worst case scenario (and very doubtful since I'm young - LOL), is a bone marrow disease where the body produces too much bone marrow. If the count continues to be high and they can't find a reason for it, I may have to undergo a bone marrow biopsy. Needless to say, I hope they find out what the deal is through my blood work.
Child supported called on Wednesday. For those of you who don't know, ex-sperm donor is behind about $27,000 in child support and they are finally prosecuting him for a felony level non-support charge. Even though Matt adopted Adrian, we did not waive the back child support since I'm a firm believer that child support is for the child and should be used for them. We've actually saved most of what we did get (about $1200) and put it in a savings account for Adrian to use for college, a car, or whatever he needs when he gets older since we don't really need it. It will be interesting to see how this turns out.
Lastly, I did go over my points on Wednesday (by 18.5 - yikes! However, no binging - yay me!) but was under by about 7.5 yesterday. I actually still have 16.5 flex points left until Sunday night so guess what I'm going to splurge on this weekend? A vanilla ice cream cone from McDonald's since they are only 3 points. Can't wait! :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Did really good today!
I am 7.5 points under my daily points and I actually earned like 14 activity points. I'm starving so I'm going to have myself a bowl of cereal and not feel guilty about it. :)
Jody and I decided to have a mini-contest this month through the 4th (my last day of work before Punta Cana). She only has maybe 15-20 lbs. to lose and unfortunately, I've got about 85 lbs. that I want to lose. So...her goal is 2.5% of her weight by then and mine is 5% or 12 lbs. Yeah...that's a bit high but since I have relatively nothing coming up that would cause me to fall off the wagon drastically (i.e. camping, parties, etc.), I think I can do it. She has conned me into walking outside during our breaks since we can't work out at lunch (I'm tanning :). We also have some time management issues (me more so than her) so we're making weekly goals to help out with other stuff. For example, this week, we are going to shoot for a solid 1/2 hour of cleaning around our house and then 15 minutes of moderate intensity exercise at night (on top of the 1/2 hour of walking during our breaks at work). If we do that, we break up the exercise throughout the day and end up getting in 45 minutes everyday. The actual loser of our challenge will present the winner with a small gift. If we both meet/exceed our goals, then we get each other a little gift. We're both really excited!
The sleep study is tomorrow night. I am sooo not looking forward to it but I'm doing it in hopes that I can find a reason for the chronic fatigue I've been struggling with since high school.
I don't know if I mentioned but my thyroid testing came back normal. If nothing is found through the sleep study, I'm demanding my levels (since my doctor has never mentioned them) to see if I need to go to an endocrinologist for a more sensitive thyroid test. I've heard from numerous people that their thyroid problems weren't caught on the normal blood tests (i.e. they were in the low normal range) and I've got a lot of the symptoms of a thyroid problem - my hair falls out by the handfuls, dry skin, extreme fatigue despite 8+ hours of sleep, and extreme weight gain - 80 lbs. in 6 years.
Of course I am well aware that my lifestyle definitely contributes to much of my weight problem but I still think there is something going on that they can't put their finger on.
I'll keep you posted.
Jody and I decided to have a mini-contest this month through the 4th (my last day of work before Punta Cana). She only has maybe 15-20 lbs. to lose and unfortunately, I've got about 85 lbs. that I want to lose. So...her goal is 2.5% of her weight by then and mine is 5% or 12 lbs. Yeah...that's a bit high but since I have relatively nothing coming up that would cause me to fall off the wagon drastically (i.e. camping, parties, etc.), I think I can do it. She has conned me into walking outside during our breaks since we can't work out at lunch (I'm tanning :). We also have some time management issues (me more so than her) so we're making weekly goals to help out with other stuff. For example, this week, we are going to shoot for a solid 1/2 hour of cleaning around our house and then 15 minutes of moderate intensity exercise at night (on top of the 1/2 hour of walking during our breaks at work). If we do that, we break up the exercise throughout the day and end up getting in 45 minutes everyday. The actual loser of our challenge will present the winner with a small gift. If we both meet/exceed our goals, then we get each other a little gift. We're both really excited!
The sleep study is tomorrow night. I am sooo not looking forward to it but I'm doing it in hopes that I can find a reason for the chronic fatigue I've been struggling with since high school.
I don't know if I mentioned but my thyroid testing came back normal. If nothing is found through the sleep study, I'm demanding my levels (since my doctor has never mentioned them) to see if I need to go to an endocrinologist for a more sensitive thyroid test. I've heard from numerous people that their thyroid problems weren't caught on the normal blood tests (i.e. they were in the low normal range) and I've got a lot of the symptoms of a thyroid problem - my hair falls out by the handfuls, dry skin, extreme fatigue despite 8+ hours of sleep, and extreme weight gain - 80 lbs. in 6 years.
Of course I am well aware that my lifestyle definitely contributes to much of my weight problem but I still think there is something going on that they can't put their finger on.
I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I seriously don't know WTH is wrong with me?!?!?!
I started Weight Watchers for like 5 days and actually managed to lose 4 lbs. in that time. We went camping last weekend and all eating rules went out the window. We had a concert to go to (TOOL :D) this past Friday and so I put off getting back on track until today which is turning in to tomorrow.
I don't know why I do this to myself. I did soooo good for a long time. I lost 30 lbs. in a year! Now it's all about self-sabotage lately. I haven't worked out in over a month and I feel like shit. I eat complete crap too and so that doesn't help matters any. I have a ton of support but I don't utilize it. Instead I hide out from everyone when I'm in the deep, dark recesses of my binge eating.
My double chin is back. My size 18s are extremely tight on me and my belly hangs over the pants and nothing looks good on me right now. I have no idea what I weigh right now. If I had to guess, I'd say 236 but I won't know until tomorrow.
I have a little less than a month until Punta Cana so I have got to get my butt in gear. My friend Jody (my work exercise buddy) and I have decided to do a challenge this month. Unfortunately we can't work out together this month since I have to tan on my lunch hour (so I don't burn to a crisp down in PC) but we've promised each other that we will make a good effort this month. We haven't decided quite how we're going to work this yet but it's either going to be by a percentage of weight loss and/or how well we stick to our plans by working out and eating good. I think that the loser will either buy the winner lunch or get a small gift for the winner. Hopefully that, in conjunction with the upcoming trip will help light a fire under me.
School is done for the quarter...thank God! I only had one class but felt like I did a ton of work. I have 3 classes next quarter, one of which I can get started on early since it's basically credits for an "internship" so I'm going to start that.
I just got off my week long "furlough" from work and feel like I got nothing accomplished, despite the fact that I kept myself busy all day long every day. Oh, well. I tried (as usual) and that's all that matters. I'm really scared to get my pay stub this week to see how much less I'm going to get paid because of this mandatory hiatus. It's not going to be pretty but thankfully I was able to pick up some part-time work from my old job to help make up some of the difference. We have a little bit in savings too so I think we'll be okay. I just hate having to worry about money. It just brings back a lot of bad memories from growing up dirt poor and on welfare until I was a JUNIOR in high school. I NEVER want (and I refuse) to subject my children to that hell. *steps down from soap box*
I feel like a broken record peeps. But, I'm going to take this one day and one pound at a time. That's 52 lbs. in a year. I could be down to 180 lbs. by this time next year, which would put me in a size 14/16. 1 pound per week is so do-able. I will do this!!!
I don't know why I do this to myself. I did soooo good for a long time. I lost 30 lbs. in a year! Now it's all about self-sabotage lately. I haven't worked out in over a month and I feel like shit. I eat complete crap too and so that doesn't help matters any. I have a ton of support but I don't utilize it. Instead I hide out from everyone when I'm in the deep, dark recesses of my binge eating.
My double chin is back. My size 18s are extremely tight on me and my belly hangs over the pants and nothing looks good on me right now. I have no idea what I weigh right now. If I had to guess, I'd say 236 but I won't know until tomorrow.
I have a little less than a month until Punta Cana so I have got to get my butt in gear. My friend Jody (my work exercise buddy) and I have decided to do a challenge this month. Unfortunately we can't work out together this month since I have to tan on my lunch hour (so I don't burn to a crisp down in PC) but we've promised each other that we will make a good effort this month. We haven't decided quite how we're going to work this yet but it's either going to be by a percentage of weight loss and/or how well we stick to our plans by working out and eating good. I think that the loser will either buy the winner lunch or get a small gift for the winner. Hopefully that, in conjunction with the upcoming trip will help light a fire under me.
School is done for the quarter...thank God! I only had one class but felt like I did a ton of work. I have 3 classes next quarter, one of which I can get started on early since it's basically credits for an "internship" so I'm going to start that.
I just got off my week long "furlough" from work and feel like I got nothing accomplished, despite the fact that I kept myself busy all day long every day. Oh, well. I tried (as usual) and that's all that matters. I'm really scared to get my pay stub this week to see how much less I'm going to get paid because of this mandatory hiatus. It's not going to be pretty but thankfully I was able to pick up some part-time work from my old job to help make up some of the difference. We have a little bit in savings too so I think we'll be okay. I just hate having to worry about money. It just brings back a lot of bad memories from growing up dirt poor and on welfare until I was a JUNIOR in high school. I NEVER want (and I refuse) to subject my children to that hell. *steps down from soap box*
I feel like a broken record peeps. But, I'm going to take this one day and one pound at a time. That's 52 lbs. in a year. I could be down to 180 lbs. by this time next year, which would put me in a size 14/16. 1 pound per week is so do-able. I will do this!!!
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